Scribbles Challenge: My Wish For You

I try not to wish. I really try not to hope. I try to hide and wait out the season of hope. I try to close my eyes and not look at the holiday cheer or hear the carols or pass by the lovers buying their gifts and flaunting their love. I try so hard not to wish at all. I am still reeling, still plummeting. 

And you are still the one I think of here when I turn down my bed covers. I still bite my lip when I feel the sting of tears welling in my eyes. I take responsibility for the grieving but I blame some of it on the full moon tonight. And I whisper a prayer as I give into my sorrow.

I do wonder as this will be the way it is from here on out. I wonder how I will sleep in this bed and how will I lay still as I stay awake until dawn comes to break the monotony of the night. I wonder about a lot of things concerning how it will be with me being alone now. 

Then I stare at the starlight. I consider all of the others who are facing their necessary losses as I wipe a tear that found its way midway down my cheek. I feel guilty for me being so pitiful and lonely. I feel that I loathe me too. Even unworthy...   And I still think of you.  And I have a change of heart as I make a wish for you.

I wish for you that you will find whatever it is you are looking for. I wish for you that you will stop chasing pipedreams. I wish for you that you can beat your fears and settle into living a life of victory. I wish for you peace.  My wish for you is true love that might come and that you will recognize it as such this time. 

I then feel my heart being just as heavy laden but I am nodding my head as I acknowledge the pangs of forgiveness tugging the heartstrings. And I begin to feel a wish being sought for through the recesses of my own mind's confusion and unrest. And I then dare to speak a wish for me...

I wish that I might sleep tonight.  And I turn out the lights.

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Comments

  1. monicaspeaks

    beautiful words sweet one….

    January 01, 2010
  2. VictoriaWV

    Thanks so much Monica. I was reading the challenges and wanted to try a different angle at the challenge. I am so glad you liked the melancholy piece.

    January 01, 2010
  3. VictoriaWV

    Thanks so much yourgoddess. I am so glad you liked it.

    January 01, 2010
  4. pastormike

    sweet melancholy.. have a great year..

    January 01, 2010
  5. VictoriaWV

    It is a piece of me… just thinking of emotions while I watch snow falling.

    January 01, 2010
  6. VictoriaWV

    Thanks so much Pastor Mike. I appreciate you taking the time to read it.

    January 01, 2010
  7. SnoopsMama

    That was awesome, Vicki. Hugs

    January 03, 2010
  8. VictoriaWV

    Thanks Charity. I Love you BTW!

    January 04, 2010
    1. SnoopsMama

      You’re welcome and I love you too!!!

      January 04, 2010
  9. Giabug

    Beautiful, Vicki.

    March 26, 2010